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Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Wenger lands Romanian prodigy at bargain price

Competition for this man

Arsene Wenger is about to loosen the purse strings and bring in some Eastern European talent to challenge Olivier Giroud. It seems that Romanian top division side Gloria Bistrita are about to part with their nineteen-year-old centre-forward Lirpa Sloof as Arsenal are in final negotiations with the player having already agreed a fee for his services. 
The terms of the deal are said to be more than agreeable to Wenger with an up front payment of €500,000 plus a years supply of oranges for the selling club who are suffering from a Vitamin C deficiency. Sloof has scored one goal in 47 appearances in the senior side but Arsene is confident he can turn the boy in to a top class striker in the mould of Julio Baptista. He should provide excellent competition to Giroud, with Nicklas Bendtner on his way out of Arsenal and Yaya Sanogo failing to make any impact on the goal scoring charts.
It is rumoured that Arsenal also offered a more formal tie-up with the Romanian minnows, with particular emphasis on allowing them access to our medical staff and their expertise. However, the selling club have apparently turned down this arrangement as they have a thin enough squad already without allowing our physios to get their hands on their players thighs and hamstrings.
I look forward to welcoming our new young star when he arrives for pre-season training in July. He is set to make his debut against Thierry Henry's New York Red Bulls and he will wear the squad number 26, vacated by Bendtner.


  1. I hear that it was a close thing between him and another young lad called Florio Slap.

  2. Not true, he has, however bought an 18 yr old kid from Japan called Som yong gai.